Banned Words

At Real Time Wine, we believe in wine commentary that makes sense. We have a list of banned words, that if used in a wine review will result in immediate ridicule (and possible tequila shots). We're looking to add to this list, so if you have a snooty wank of a word to add... hit us up on FaceBook or Twitter. When you're doing fan reviews, try obey the banned words list. It may sound extremist, but it'll make you a better person (and a more creative writer). We promise.

Current banned words include but are not limited to (i.e. may change at a moments notice)

ageworthy
assimilated (unless you’re talking about the Borg)
bottle shock (sounds like a medical condition)
bouquet (used for flowers people!)
breathtaking integration (you're kidding right?)
calibration (wine is not a machine, and citizen wine reviewing doesn't need calibration!)
capsicum
cassis
color (hmm, thought you could sneak that past us?)
colour (red or white should do it)
cool climate stamp (can you collect them?)
elegance (unless describing a fine cover drive on Day 1 of a Test Match)
finish (unless you're talking about ending the bottle... or paint)
flinty (used for making fires, or are we missing something? Do we eat it?)
gush (Ye Gods!)
harmony (unless you're talking about the angels)
herbaceous
influence (unless you're referring to a person, a person has influence, not a grapefruit or soil)
length (it's 140 characters, and we're talking about the reviews)
minerality (if you've sucked on small rocks, you've got bigger problems)
mousse (hair products ftw!)
nose (it just sounds stuck up, and it's a slippery slope to other snobby words)
note (this isn’t music, otherwise there’d be noise things going on)
notes
palate
residual (unless describing the fact that you’re running out of wine)
resplendently
robust (is it like an all rounder in cricket, can bat and bowl?)
Russian taragon herb (no comment)
sweaty saddle (unless you've actually tasted a sweaty saddle?)
tannins
vinosity